Be it for food or beauty, they both serve very important purposes!

Lessons From a Wandering Jew





photo credit: Peas, on Flicker

Before my back injury, mine looked very much like this. It didn’t do well with the tender care of three teenage boys, and yesterday I decided to see what could be done to save it. The poor thing was about 90% dead leaves.

My Jew is sentimental to me, symbolic. I am very much a symbolism sort, those kinds of things connect deep inside, and help me in the daily remembering. I am also a diehard fan of J.R.R. Tolkien, which is odd for me to say, as I usually shudder at the thought of being a ‘fan’ of anything or anyone. That said, “The Silmarillion” especially, but the whole “Lord of the Rings” series also, spoke strongly to me in the early stages of my healing journey, and helped me along the path. The first time I encountered one of these plants was in the summer of ’08, on a day extremely meaningful to me. I had never seen a plant like it, shimmering silver, purple, and forest green. It wasn’t labeled, but I bought it and brought it home. It was very Elven looking to me, and fit the significance of the day in my heart. I didn’t even know what the plant was until this past year! My original had been left behind when my children and I fled, and I had cried a bit over that plant. Then last year I ran into it again, and again one came home with me, this time with a name. I had my Elven plant back, my commemoration to that day.

Coming home and finding it nearly dead didn’t make me too happy. My oldest-at-home son took it down from it’s hook for me before leaving for school. I set to work on it about 9am, house quiet. I love quiet mornings. I’ve come to accept I Need quiet about as much as I Need air.

The Jew didn’t want to co-operate. Seriously. It held onto those dead leaves like it’s life depended on it, while the still living colorful tendrils fell off all over my counter with barely a breath on them. I soon had a glass of water stuffed full of tendrils and leaves, and a potted plant with all sorts of very dead, very thin, threadlike but hard as wire bare brown tendrils.

It got me to thinking…how firmly do I clench onto the dead, dry shoots in my life that I should be letting go of? And how often do I throw off the vibrant, living shoots in order to cling to the old dead ones?




Categories: Faith and Wrestling, Gardening, Healing & Growing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thinking on Said Priorities

blog hen setting on puppy

This picture was just too awesome NOT to use LOL!

I tend to think best in writing, or out loud. So beware…this is one of those posts *VBG*

I have the Minis..though my “program” was devastated and blown to bits in ’12 & 13, for the most part. THEN Jesus drags me to the World show, after me trying to get there for well over a decade, finally giving up years ago, and despite having lived within a 2 hr drive of it for the past 5 shows, just not even letting myself think of it. Then this year…He tells me to go. I am still processing those 2 days. We’ll get to that later. But I know that He wants me to show the Minis, and I know it has something to do with teaching me that beauty matters, and that I am capable.

I also know they are about more than just showing…or even showing and breeding. They are to have a part in helping people, the way they’ve helped me.

So, there is that.

I know they can also be trained to do things like pull plows, wagons, and just generally make themselves useful. And they are practically automatic fertilizer dispensers!

So, steps. I need to begin with what I have, which currently amounts to a few mini horses, and some gardening tools.

I need to focus on some version of a barn. A round pen for training and working purposes. Training and working.
And I need to focus on plotting out garden area(s), what I am going to grow this year, and what I need to do it.
And I would like to put in a herb garden.
I would love to have chickens again. First, I need a coop.
And I really do need a livestock guardian dog. Anatolian Shepherd or Great Pyrenees. I would consider a guard donkey, but after talking to many many farmers, I’m told repeatedly they will kill foals, as they don’t recognize them as part of the herd, and the same with new additions to the herd. I’m not sure if Llama’s have the same issue, and I’m not sure I want to deal with a Llama, anyhow. I know nothing about them. I’ve fostered Pyr’s, and I’ve had exposure to Anatolians, and both have strengths and weaknesses, and both would work. So that will simply depend on finding the right one at the right time. Winter is not the time to start a new dog, and certainly not pups. Or chicks.

But I can work on coop ideas and plans!

Categories: Gardening, Goals and Desires, Healing & Growing, Horses, Poultry & Livestock, Projects | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Priority Setting


I love this picture…it’s like a dream valley farm *soft smile*

Between the idea and seeing the end result, there are all the steps, the process. I’ve come to realize that in this age of instant everything, we’ve lost the beauty, joy, and fulfillment of “process”. Just a few years ago, when a dear brother rebuked me for trying to skip the process of healing and just “be healed”, I wanted to rip his head off. See, I grew up in that brand of churchianity that says good Christians have a cake walk life, live in mansions, never want for anything, and surely to goodness feel no pain…so if you AREN’T dancing through life with no trials and more money than you know what to do with, and have any inner pain at all, then you are in sin or at best, “not walking in faith”. If you have grief, or inner turmoil, or anything “wrong” with your life, then well…just lay it at the alter for goodness sake and get over it!

Jesus abruptly challenged me one day, in the doorway to my then bedroom, that I could either continue on that path, or walk with Him. Not very hard to make the decision…seven years later, I’m still learning HOW. When my brother said “process”, I think it took me months to get my head around that word, alone! That said, I have come to embrace the process, and the grace and mercy that come along with it…no wonder so much of todays church has so very little of either.

So anyhow, homesteading. Process. Probably, they are about one and the same. And I need to figure out what the next step is. I find myself a tad bit…how do I word this. Gardening, planting, livestock…all of that means putting down roots. I haven’t had roots for a very long time. I have also been seeing the negative effects of pulling up roots, in both my children and myself. I’m not sure how many roots I *want* to put here, being I already know it’s only temporary…I know I will be here a few years, but still, it’s temporary. Thinking…

Categories: Gardening, Goals and Desires, Healing & Growing | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment


blog homestead drawing

OK, so it’s not exactly the right idea, but it does show alot of the right ingredients…

Tis odd to me, that I wrestle with this idea so much. I named my blog after homesteading, for goodness sake. I did that because it’s a part of me I can’t escape, despite how I’ve tried. Something in my gut, deeper than I can root out, cries out to plant and till (not necessarily in that order!), get a mini milk cow, raise livestock, fix as much of our food as I can off of my own land.

Maybe it’s that I don’t have my own land, and I’m afraid my landlords are going to go back on telling me I could do what I want that way, like the last one did.

Maybe it’s that the urgency of the burning in my gut honestly terrifies me a bit.

Maybe it’s that I don’t trust my own hearing, or myself, to do it “right”. Then I come back at myself with “for goodness sake, how many wrong ways can there be to turn over a shovel full of dirt?”

I’ve raised chicks to laying hens, and loved it. Maybe it’s because I had to sell them, and the three I was going to keep and bring with me said last landlady wouldn’t let me take with me, and then killed them. And I feel guilty.

Alot of it is trying to figure out how in the world to fit tending crops and animals around the 3 jobs I work and the bare minimum of house tending I do now. Why grow a garden when I’ve not time to cook? That sort of thing.

Some of it is fear of actually making a home….a REAL home. Something that I’ve never been allowed or able to do before. Now that I find myself in a place that could *be* a home, and Jesus sorting things out a bit more each day as I work with Him on finances and parenting and all the other etc of life, now, I am in a place I could do that. And I find I hardly know what to do. Or I fear I do.

It’s amazing how crippling fear can be. Fear can keep you from mixing up a batch of cookies, for goodness sake. I’m using that phrase too much. But today, it works.

But perfect love casts out fear. I find it interesting that He specified “perfect” love. Not just any ol’ “love”…His love. God’s love casts out fear. Jesus, Spirit, Father’s loves cast out fear. It’s part of why I pray things like “Jesus, come…” or “Your kingdom come, Your will be done”. His will is love, in it’s entirety, with all of it’s repercussions.

Holy Ones…let Your love live in me…bring Your love and life to fruition here, in this little bit of Your kingdom, help me to walk in it. And to get out the shovel. Cuz it’s time to get the compost in the ground!

Categories: Faith and Wrestling, Food, Gardening, Goals and Desires, Healing & Growing, Poultry & Livestock | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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